— Gabriel García Márquez (via observando)
life hack: be nice to people with a pool at their house
life hack #2: don’t trust anyone who knows you have a pool
Imagine if your follower count turned into money
was that my hair or is there a spider crawling on me
the goal is to love myself so much it offends other people
I’m a gentle fragile forest creature so don’t ever yell at me you fucking fuck or I’ll eat you.
my mom told me that in high school she use to get boyfriends at the beginning of February so they had enough time to get her a valentines day gift and then break up with them the day after and just keep the gift and one day she told her parents about it and they made her keep her boyfriend at least until the end of February and so she did and that boy is now my dad